The scent of bus exhaust blended with morning dew. The pleasant chew of a September morning. The absence of summer season; its roots. Every thing is open and new. Backpacks are filled with untouched notebooks with contemporary edges and college-ruled traces. If I shut my eyes and manifest it deeply sufficient, I can scent the burnt tip of a pencil and its curled remnants after a superb sharpening. I can really feel the waxy sureness of gel pens in my fingers and the brand new locker mixture nervousness creep up my backbone.
And you already know what else I keep in mind with the purest fondness? First day of college outfits.
People, they have been one thing of the glorified previous.
All all through my childhood and highschool, I personally petitioned for consolation and epic trendsetting when it got here to trend. I hated pants till I used to be a tween. However after I turned keen on them, I might have married a pair of flare denims. August was a quiet, trendy blessing yearly, when my mother and I might hit up the mall for a starting of the college 12 months buying spree. Favourite shops have been as follows: Restricted Too (if I used to be feeling poppy athleisure), Delia’s (keep in mind how cool bottle cap necklaces have been?!), Hole (for the fundamentals), American Eagle (to maintain up with the favored women), Spencer’s Presents (for my first “Hey, I’m Up Right here” shirt), and Scorching Subject (thanks be to Avril Lavigne). Honorable mentions embrace Charlotte Russe and Moist Seal, after I deeply wanted to be Lauren from Laguna Seaside.
If I shut my eyes and manifest it deeply sufficient, I can scent the burnt tip of a pencil and its curled remnants after a superb sharpening. I can really feel the waxy sureness of gel pens in my fingers and the brand new locker mixture nervousness creep up my backbone.
The primary day of college was all the time monumental on this trend journey. In grade college, I needed nothing to do with garments. By the point highschool hit, I needed to be revered by the favored women. I knew precisely which of them; would plan walk-bys close to their desk at lunch so they might perceive that I used to be similar to them. I preferred the entire issues they preferred! I listened to all the identical music and will make them snicker! Have a look at my glitzy Silver denims! They haven’t any pockets on the butt!
Going again to highschool was an excruciatingly keen process. I needed to be 100 ladies without delay: Britney Spears, Mischa Barton, Mary-Kate, Ashley, and in a quiet chasm of my coronary heart: Avril Lavigne. I needed to impress women. I needed to impress boys. I needed to be easy and complemented and a superb good friend. I needed the whole lot—which is all a part of the primary day of college outfit attraction.
So, in an effort to absolutely perceive the great thing about this transformation, let’s begin from the start. First grade, when my model was like an Astro van—all about consolation.
Outfit #1 (First Grade): Matilda Wormwood Stylish (photograph above)
Beginning contemporary with my favourite outfit. Nothing tops a plum corduroy gown with rainbow buttons, to begin with. Secondly, these loafers are probably the most kiddo-fashionable factor I’ve ever seen and I might put on a pair right this moment?? Consolation is vital right here, as I do know I refused to put on pants till I used to be not less than 13. You possibly can’t see right here as a result of I’m shielding from the solar however I used to be rocking some top-form, thick bangs.
Outfit #2 (Second Grade): Lumberjack Chaotic Good
Earlier than diving into this one, can we first cordially admire the nineties wallpaper? Good work right here, mother (Author’s Be aware: Darla would beg to vary). Our kitchen was full of painted peaches that appeared like fist-sized child butts and I cherished exhibiting my pals. We’d snicker about them all the time. I’m actually jazzed my mother needed to make use of it as a primary day of college backdrop.
Anyway, this jacket was a wardrobe legend in my life. I wore it all over the place and refused to take it off. I cherished that about being a child. Articles of clothes and niknaks turned cherished and obsessive. You wore issues to the bottom. You possibly can’t see it on this image, however I had a plaid backpack I carried all over the place. Collectively, I appeared like a blind lumberjack—with a complete row of lacking tooth so as to add to the grunge aesthetic.
Outfit #3 (Third Grade): Laura Ingalls Wilder Meets Reebok White
I’ve a variety of emotions about this look. I keep in mind this gown greater than something in my wardrobe at this age. It was my favourite frock, one thing that hardly touched my physique, wasn’t itchy and will go as presentable in public (this was the age I nonetheless most well-liked waist excessive white tighties and waist excessive whitie tighties solely). The sneakers are unimaginable, as they could or might not be so clear they glow in the dead of night. And, let’s be trustworthy, my sister’s hat is fierce.
Outfit #4 (Sixth Grade): The Adidas-Stripes-for-Life Lewk




This photograph is a little bit darkish however disposable cameras have been stylish within the nineties, okay! Throughout this delicate time interval, nothing else mattered however my model new Adidas Stripes. You keep in mind those. I needed each single coloration. However I needed to settle, first, with a knockoff Sketchers model that I hated. My dad and mom didn’t perceive the significance of my status in class and I needed to beg them for an actual pair. Once I lastly obtained them, I wore them day by day with matching knee-high Adidas socks that solely went up above my ankles as a result of I had such outlined calves as a younger lady. I’d by no means performed soccer, not to mention loved a group sport in my life, however joke’s on you in the event you thought I wasn’t going to look the half.
Outfit #5 (Seventh Grade): GirlBoy Fusion
I might say this was my peak awkward stage however, sadly, I hit that mountain prime a 12 months later. You possibly can inform right here that I needed to be a woman but additionally had a mushy ardour for distant boyhood. I cherished large t-shirts that hid my center college C-cups as a result of I didn’t know what to do with the boy gaze. Subsequently, I refused to fake I’d by no means seen a Rugby sport in my life and crossed my arms in pictures to cover any proof of womanhood.
Outfit #6 (Tenth Grade): Stripe Type Metropolis




The 12 months was 2003. I used to be a sophomore. I had a contemporary lower and highlights that appeared like Smucker’s Goober PB&J stripes. Quite a bit had modified since center college. I used to be boy-obsessed and stuffed to the gills with woman drama. I used to be epically pleased with my boobs and had no thought learn how to present them off with out trying hideous. In a journal entry, I wrote about my desired model. “I actually like sporting shiny shirts and skirts,” I wrote in slanted cursive. “Searching for garments is determined by my temper. If I need to be actually girly and fairly, I’m going to Charlotte Russe or Deb. If I need to be sporty and summery, I’m going to Pac Solar or Buckle (if I can afford it). If I’m feeling much less like myself, I’ll swing by Scorching Subject.”
Outfit #7 (Twelfth Grade): Bangs and Luggage




Legs for days, of us. There’s rather a lot to unpack right here. To start with, what am I conserving in all of these luggage?! I keep in mind refusing to hold a backpack (too infantile)! I opted for a briefcase and a very fuzzy purse as an alternative. I had my first job as a sandwich artist at Subway, so this was the 12 months I used to be capable of buy my total outfit from Buckle, the coveted place within the mall that bought glitzy Silver denims for $120 a pair—an astronomical amount of cash after I was seventeen. I wore these gold flats, for instance, till I blew a gap of their toes my school freshman 12 months. This was additionally one of many first years of my life I obtained to hold keys, so I loaded them with keychains and swag. It drove my dad insane, as a result of he thought I might damage the ignition lock cylinders on my automobile. However, no matter dad! I’m a cool woman!
Wanting by way of these previous outfits and pictures has jogged my memory of how a lot we are able to and do rework. 12 months by 12 months, we discover ourselves bursting out of the previous into the unknown, discovering contemporary methods to precise ourselves and turn out to be increasingly more of what we consider we may be.
Wanting by way of these previous outfits and pictures has jogged my memory of how a lot we are able to and do rework. 12 months by 12 months, we discover ourselves bursting out of the previous into the unknown, discovering contemporary methods to precise ourselves and turn out to be increasingly more of what we consider we may be. That’s why this time of 12 months has all the time been bittersweet for me. September opens a brand new web page, even amidst a pandemic, to start out in a brand new gentle. Alice Walker writes it greatest in her ebook In Search of Our Moms’ Gardens, “A part of what existence means to me is figuring out the distinction between what I’m now and what I used to be then. . . . To know is to exist: to exist is to be concerned, to maneuver about, to see the world with my very own eyes.”




Brittany Chaffee is an avid storyteller, skilled empath, and creator. On the day by day, she will get paid to strategize and create content material for manufacturers. Off work hours, it’s all a couple of well-lit place, heat bread, and good firm. She lives in St.Paul together with her child brother cats, Rami and Monkey. Observe her on Instagram, learn extra about her newest ebook, Borderline, and (most significantly) go hug your mom.