Perfectionism. The phrase that breaks or makes an individual try to succeed in the highest of their sport. The dictionary states perfectionism because the ‘refusal to simply accept any commonplace in need of perfection,’ whereas my definition of the phrase goes extra alongside the traces of a ‘lovely strategy to hate life and ship your self to the grave early.’
And earlier than you inundate my inbox with hate mail, hear me out. I’m not saying those that establish themselves as perfectionists are ill-mannered or have the improper intentions. What I’m saying is if you wish to succeed and get forward in life, perfectionism won’t get you there any sooner.
Striving for the perfect
Positive, an individual ought to and may try to have the perfect in life. Nonetheless, there’s a nice line between reaching one’s desired targets in life and failing miserably due to the unrealistic expectations one has set upon themselves with this ideology of ‘perfectionism.’ Nothing is ever good in life, and there’ll all the time be room for enchancment in all the pieces we do, together with chasing success.
Willingness to succeed
An individual who seeks to need the perfect in life and to succeed in their desired degree of success is one who’s motivated by the need to attain greatness. Alternatively, perfectionists are normally pushed by the worry of failure.
Concern of failure
By fearing to fail, an individual fails to stay. When an individual chooses to stay on this method, valuing themselves solely by their achievements, they set themselves up for even larger failures in life as a complete. The explanation for that is that the best way they worth themselves turns into intertwined with their degree of success. The second they don’t obtain the extent of perfectionism or success they search, they establish themselves as failures and open themselves as much as criticism. The unlucky factor right here is that the one who will likely be giving and receiving the criticism is nobody aside from themselves.
“Understanding the distinction between wholesome striving and perfectionism is vital to laying down the protect and selecting up your life. Analysis exhibits that perfectionism hampers success. Actually, it’s typically the trail to despair, nervousness, dependancy, and life paralysis.” — Brené Brown
Embrace your losses
Moderately than taking a look at methods to enhance their strategies or pathways to success, perfectionists battle with the idea of coping with and taking losses when issues don’t go their method, which regularly results in destructive self-talk and the inserting of pointless pressures on oneself. This isn’t solely unhealthy however a tough strategy to stay, and after an extended interval of exposing oneself to such negativity, it will definitely takes a big toll on one’s emotional and psychological well-being.
To really succeed, one should study to embrace losses as they arrive and never allow roadblocks to outline who they’re or their degree of success. Success involves those that proceed to soldier on no matter what number of instances they get knocked down. Didn’t get that promotion or meet your gross sales goal? Who cares.
Effectively, maybe your boss may, however don’t fear about that; what you ought to be apprehensive about isn’t worrying about these little bumps within the street and being keen to simply accept that issues can’t all the time be good or go the best way you hoped in your quest to success. Nevertheless, you’ll be able to study from the expertise and enhance your strategies.
Be your cheerleader
I’ve labored with sufficient shoppers over time to see the destructive impacts perfectionism can have on an individual; consider me, it’s not fairly. Not solely does the fixed battle to be good take a toll on an individual, but it surely additionally begins to slowly seep via to their relationships with others, together with these they worth essentially the most.
One such particular person was a shopper of mine who labored for a Fortune 500 firm. After years of pushing themselves to the intense to attain what they known as the ‘good’ life, all of it got here crashing down, forcing them to re-evaluate their whole profession and their unhealthy obsession with ‘perfectionism.’ After being pushed to the brink and having a psychological breakdown, they moved to the nation and opened up just a little enterprise, which by the best way, is prospering!
However better of all, they’re now doing what they love with out the fixed destructive self-talk they had been accustomed to when making an attempt to create a façade of an ideal life and chasing the concept of perfectionism.
Let it circulate
There may be nothing an individual can’t obtain in life, and we must always all try to do the perfect we will. Nevertheless, in doing so, we should perceive and study to simply accept ourselves as is, flawed and all. An individual who achieves nice success isn’t one who is ideal however slightly one who’s keen to be imperfect and settle for that errors will likely be made alongside their journey to success. Perfectionism is merely an phantasm that locations unrealistic expectations on an individual. You possibly can solely do issues to the perfect of your capability, and if it doesn’t work, attempt once more – that’s what true success is.